Finding Mindful Moments
by Megan Arnold, NCC, LPC, CPCS
It’s Saturday morning and you wake up to an alarm, your 5 year old son. He is running around with his underwear off because he had an accident. Your eyes stay closed as you let out a big sigh and stretch. When you glance at the time, it’s 6:14 AM. Too early for a Saturday. Within the next hour and a half, you have to change your 5 year old, feed the kids frozen waffles, start the coffee and laundry, clean up the kitchen, and get your 8 year old ready for their baseball game that morning. This all happens after a filled week of meetings, practices, an Open House at school, and barely enough time to catch your breath before you fall asleep at night. Are you living the life you value? How many moments are you able to pause and soak in, delighting in the sweet family and lives you’ve created? I think everyone wants moments like this. It’s why we schedule vacations where we turn off devices and unplug. So, how did we get these moments in our everyday lives? How do we notice and delight in our lives in the midst of the chaos?
CREATE BLANK SPACE
Pick one weekend each month that you intentionally keep blank. It can change month-to-month depending on what activities you’d like to participate in. However, it means sometimes you have to say no to things you want to do. We are not meant to be available for everyone and every activity all of the time. It is important to recharge your own battery, which may look like a slow morning and day at home with your family. You may still have your alarm clock children, but jumping out of bed to rush off to a scheduled event doesn’t have to happen every weekend. On these days, you may decide to stay at home and make your favorite meal or order in. Or, you may decide for a spontaneous outing that brings you joy! The intention isn’t necessarily to “do nothing”, but to have no required places to be.
LOOK FOR THE GLIMMERS
Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try, we cannot escape the chaos of life. Hopefully you notice there are only seasons of busyness. In these chaotic seasons, look for the Glimmers. Look for the small moments that bring you joy. It may be the way your child still says “avocado”. It may be the car ride where everyone was getting along and singing to a familiar song with the windows down. It may be the brief moment of quiet or quality conversation you get with your significant other while on an evening walk. Be intentional in this practice by physically writing them down each day. On days when it’s hard to see the goodness, look back at your previous Glimmers to remind yourself of the goodness.
SOLITUDE DRIVES
Create space for quiet. We are often bombarded with music, phone calls, or television in the background. When we allow space for quiet and solitude, it can give our brains opportunity to rest, wander, and think. The constant distraction can be overstimulating and when we find time for solitude, it can help to reset the nervous system and be ready to work through stressors when we return to the noise of everyday life. Does it seem overwhelming to think of driving in the quiet? Start with a short drive when you run a quick errand. Take a deep breath and feel the wind on your face with the window down - especially on these beautiful fall days.
MINDFUL SCAVENGER HUNTS
A great way to practice mindfulness and quiet can be through scavenger hunts while on a walk. You can use this time to be intentional with engaging with the present moment. Decide on what you want to look for on your walk and utilize your senses! Below is an example of scavenger hunt finds or be inspired to make your own!
Butterfly
Squirrel
Bird Chirp
Soft Moss
Tall Wavy Grass
Water
Spider Web
Pinecone
Deer
Something Smooth
Something Rough
Tallest Tree
Smallest Plant
Something Blue
Something Yellow
Caterpillar
Tree With Many Colored Leaves
Something You Can Smell
CHILD LED PLAYFUL INTERACTIONS
If you find yourself with a moment of leisure, use this time to connect with your family around you. Instead of structured activities and play, put on your child-like playfulness and let your child lead you in however they want to play. Verbalize moments when you notice they may feel excited, proud, or frustrated. Encourage them if they feel stuck and let them know you think they can do the challenging task. Be silly with them! Delight in your child! This connection you form with them is beneficial for co-regulation and an open parent-child relationship where they feel seen, heard, and understood. These moments mean the world to them and their childhood is fleeting. Use these moments to slow down to really see and hear them in your playful interactions.
If you find you’ve exhausted all of your tools or supports and would like more emotional support for you or your child, reach out to Elevate Counseling + Coaching to see if Parent Coaching, Child & Adolescent Therapy, or Adult Therapy would be a good fit for you.
