Preparing For The New School Year

by Megan Arnold, NCC, LPC, CPCS

Every year, the Summer season comes on a favorable rotation, bringing that sought-after vacation time and relief from a rigorous school year, and just as fast as it comes, it says goodbye. We all recognize the time of year by the advertisements plaguing our local department stores, and when our Instagram feed rolls out pencils, notebooks, bookbags, school clothes, and paper — a message declaring: “School is on the way!” The reactions to this news is as different for parents and children as the reaction to broccoli on a dinner plate. Like broccoli, parents know school as a healthy alternative to cola and potato chips, but the anxiety of how the healthy alternative goes down is as real as it gets. Parents may be excited that children will be occupied for a large part of the day with meals and activities pre-planned for them. On the other hand, thoughts of how their child is handling the pressures of new teachers, peers, academic challenges, and a shift in routine may cause some worry. The children see all the benefits of peers and meals without the benefits of new teachers and academic responsibilities, and a loss of summer freedom to play. 

Even though your child has “been there, done that,” they are constantly developing and have not, in fact, “been there, done that,” with their newly developed synapses and neurons making up their maturing brains. Therefore, parents must adjust to the adjustments to equip their child to face unmet challenges, and there are many ways in which you can do just that:

DISCUSS + LISTEN  

If your child needs preparation for transitions, a few weeks before school starts may be a good time to start talking about starting school. Highlight what you think your child may be looking forward to. Actively listen! Whether your child is in kindergarten or twelfth grade, give them the opportunity to verbalize their thoughts and feelings. . Name and validate their emotions as you see fit, even if they are uncomfortable emotions. If you notice they may be stuck in an unhelpful thought or emotion, ask them if it is 100% true. Then, help them name a new thought which could be more helpful. 

Child: “I do not like ANYTHING about school”

Parent: “I can see you feel angry about going back to school because you don’t like many things about being there. I can understand the frustration with needing to do math every day. The thought you don’t like anything about school doesn’t sound 100% true. I remember last year you came home talking about playing with your friends during lunch and recess. What friends are you looking forward to seeing?” 

STRUCTURE + ROUTINE

If your child tends to get off of a routine during the summer, begin to implement more structure and consistent morning and bedtime routines. Kids thrive when they know what to expect and have productive and leisure activities within their day. 

Discuss social media and screen time with your kids and what it will look like during the school year. Have a plan to monitor use of devices so your child will be able to give their undivided attention to school and the people around them. Wherever their phone is, such as their back pocket, so is their attention, wondering about what new alerts are coming their way. When their phone is in their back pocket, that is where their attention is also; thinking about what may be happening on their personal devices. 

CONNECT WITH TEACHERS + PARENT INVOLVEMENT 

When you meet with teachers, be prepared to share briefly about your child’s strengths and support areas. It is helpful for teachers to know what may be beneficial in order for them to support your child socially, emotionally, and academically. They may find it helpful if you typed up a very short intro about your child with a picture to remember the little details. If there are any school supports your child needs, make note of it here too.

GET ORGANIZED 

Find an organizational system that is going to work for your child. This varies widely depending on age and attention to detail. Binders may be helpful if your child is always losing their  papers, but it may backfire if they are not going to slow down to hole punch and add the paper to the three rings. So instead, a child may rather have folders to place loose papers in. To entice a child who is resistant to school work, you can find fun pencils and pens, list note pads, planners, stickers, and/or a white board calendar to increase motivation towards organizing. 

GET CREATIVE

Ultimately, you are the one that knows your child best (apart from your child, of course). If your child struggled last year in school, question why that is. I believe all kids want to do well, and if they are not reaching those goals, there is usually some reason behind it. Not just because they are “lazy” or “outright defiant”. I find that parenting is the ultimate place to explore creativity. Once you identify why they struggled, tap into this creative part of yourself and develop a plan to meet a need that may not be getting met. 

Concern:

Your child cannot sit still during formal instruction and runs around the classroom

The Why:

Your child may find it very challenging to regulate and sit still, even when they know they should. 

Creative Solution:

Provide your child with a wiggle seat or bouncy band for school desks in order to continue movement while sitting for formal instruction. 

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Concern:

Your child falls asleep after lunchtime 

The Why:

Your child may not be getting the sleep he needs or he may be bored in the particular class 

Creative Solution:

Maintain structure of routine at home for bedtime and keep personal devices out of the bedroom

Talk with your teacher to see if he may not be challenged enough, maybe the child needs an accelerated class such as Gifted, Honors Class, or AP Class 

Talk with your child’s teacher about allowing them to have water in the classroom, take a few laps around the gym after lunch, or doodle during this class to keep the brain connected and engaged. 

If you find you’ve exhausted all of your tools or supports and would like more emotional support for you or your child, reach out to Elevate Counseling + Coaching to see if Parent Coaching, Child & Adolescent Therapy, or Adult Therapy would be a good fit for you.